OUT. OF. THE. BALLPARK!!!

What a speech! Facing up to the liberal media, slamming Obama, oh, and winning the hearts of America. Yeah, that was a speech.

I’m sorry to say, but I think I’m gonna have to break up with Ann Coulter; there’s another woman in my life now.

When I first heard John McCain had selected Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin as his running mate, I was elated. Actually, that’s not true. When I first heard McCain had picked Governor Palin, I said: “Sarah Who? Governor of Where? Is moosehunting an actual thing?” Then I Googled her policy positions, at which point my emotions would best be characterised as: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pro-life, pro-gun, pro-drilling, anti-tax, corruption-busting. The only way she could be more appealing were if she was a former Miss Wasilla. Wait, she is? Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally, a reason for conservatives to support New York Times-worshipping liberal John McCain. Naturally, the mainstream media, taking their orders from the Democratic National Committee (a change from al-Qaeda’s Marketing Department), ripped into this brilliant, talented, hugely personable, God-fearing, liberal-scaring, populist Republican Athena. They attacked her record on corruption, they invented phony scandals, they called her a creationist — then they went after her 17 year old daughter. Her 17 year old daughter. B. Hussein Obama is friends with a Weatherman, has a white-hating preacher, and a wife who only started loving America when people starting comparing her husband to Jesus. But the fearless watchdog media would rather hound a pregnant girl, whose only crime is to be bringing human life into the world in contravention of the express instructions of liberals everywhere to kill anything that moves in the womb.

Bristol Palin is keeping her baby and marrying the father. That’s what real American families are like. They’re not perfect; not Leave it to Beaver. Conservatives never claimed they were. Conservatives believe in family values not as a smug sneer at people who don’t match up to our standards (like liberals on, well, everything imaginable) but as an aspiration.

That’s Sarah Palin’s family. That’s John McCain’s family. And that’s American families.

Told you so!

Am I psychic or what? My last post argued that whilst the liberal media are giving Biden a pass for his speech-stealing, if McCain picked a Christian running mate the Left would start sqeauling Christofascism.

Then Sarah Palin (my opinion? Right-Wing Goddess!) and now this from far-left hate site, Daily Kos:

Sarah Palin’s connections that McCain doesn’t want you to know about

There are quite a number of extremely troubling links between Sarah Palin and neopentecostal dominionists–enough that, in truth, she may be ultimately as much of a “dream candidate” for the dominionist movement as Mike Huckabee was.  Even worse, she’s running in a manner that has been frighteningly successful for dominionist groups since the early 80’s–specifically, as a “stealth candidate”.

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/8/29/163234/559/495/579213

But Bill O’Reilly’s a nut for trying to warn people about this blogger…

Never trust Biden’s byline

The Gulag Party’s VP candidate was once notoriously caught out wholesale stealing passages from a speech by left-wing British Labour leader Neil Kinnock. As we Brits know, Kinnock was an especially useless socialist rube — at least Biden’s given us a heads-up on what kind of Vice Prez he’d make.

Of course, the MSM aren’t talking about this. It’s not news that a man who aspires to be the second most powerful man in the US government (or rather the Vice President) is an unapologetic plagiarist. And yet if McCain picks a Veep candidate who once went to church, the liberal media will hyperventilate and warn darkly of the descending cloud of fascism cloaking America.

Click here for Ann Coulter’s new column — a devastating dissection of the shameless ideas-nabber. (Maybe in the spirit of Bidenism, I should just have rewritten Coulter’s column and passed it off as my own…)

http://www.anncoulter.com/

Class amidst the fat-assed

Hey, did anyone catch the Babykillers for Obama convention on TV last night?

It wasn’t much to my taste, but then I am a typical white person. I prefer Republican conventions, where women look like women, men look like men, and the men want to sleep with the women — as opposed to one of the make-up guys or the nearest goat.

Democrats are just so car-crash ugly you can’t help but tune in to laugh. Rodent-faced gays hoping B. Hussein Obama looks directly into their eyes. Feminists as ferociously pro-infanticide as they are hound-like you doubt abortion would ever become an issue for them. And 300lb lesbians squeezed into $10 worth of denim. Trust the Democrats to offer a line-up of limp-wrists and stocky thighs, g-stringed “men” and braless “women”, the offensively fat and pathetically thin, the blubber-faced and hatchet-faced, the bargain bin and the wearing-a-bin, mini-bar raiders and catering cart monopolisers, unshaved and unshaveable, flat-chested and puny-muscled, and the down-right put-downably hideous. This is the aesthetic zenith of American liberalism. Conservatives have been pointing out for years now how god-awful repellent liberals are to look at. Before we just had Janet Reno to support our argument. Now we have the whole Democratic Party.

My favourite was a gargantuan Californian woman, shaking every last tonne of her wiggly jiggly fat repositories like obesity was going out of fashion. Which it never is with liberal women. At least the buffet-botherer was having a good time. All three of her.

But the star of the show was Hillary. Little Miss Shouldabeen rolled on stage, decked in a bright orange pants-suit like a Guantanamo escapee, and blew the roof off. She was commanding, impassioned, and put beyond any niggling that she would have been a far superior candidate than Obama. With humility in defeat, she told Hillary girls in the audience to vote for the crazy man for President. This woman was destroyed by the Obama camp, constantly accused of racism, and driven into vast personal debt. And still she gets up there and sells the small, empty nothing of a man to her party.

And people wonder why so many conservatives warmed to Hillary. For she may be a far-Left, man-hating, big-government, healthcare-nationalising, Bill-Clinton-marrying harpie — but, God, the girl’s got class.

Something Obama’s surly-pussed witch of a wife will never have.

Conservatives may not have much to look forward to in John McCain but at least there’s his gorgeous wife Cindy, who would never fit in at a Democratic National Convention.

Mexican-born killer executed in Texas

Can I get a ‘Woo!’ and a ‘Hoo!’?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080806/ap_on_re_us/texas_execution

Bush’s new homies: the United Nations!

Bearded loon Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is really the funnest Islamic cook, isn’t he?

Today, he has accused the UN Security Council of having a “bias” in favour of Western countries, by which he means the ones that don’t want to wipe Israel off the map. Those pesky Americans won’t let Mad Madmoud have his nuclear arsenal and the UN is supporting them.

That well-known pro-American front group, the United Nations.

The UN is biased in favour of America in the same way Ted Bundy was biased in favour of college girls.

If liberals won’t let us bomb Iran because they’re building nuclear weapons, supporting jihadist murderers in Iraq, or plan to turn Israel into one big massive Halal barbeque — a question. Can we bomb them because their President’s the craziest thing since Howard Dean?

Liberal media portrays Tennessee church gunman as conservative maniac

He hates liberals and gays, supposedly.

From MSNBC: “Adkisson was apparently frustrated over being out of work and had a ’stated hatred of the liberal movement.’”

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25872864/

From the BBC: “US church killer ‘hated liberals’”

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7529450.stm

From CBS: “Letter: Church Targeted Over Liberal Views”

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/07/28/national/main4298321.shtml

But Stalin’s still a prince!

Liberals will jump on any angle to a tragedy that makes conservatives look bad. Bush was warned before 9/11 (liberal fantasy). We need gun control because of spree shootings (apparently including those in which armed citizens subdue the gunman). Right-wing radio hosts were to blame for Timothy McVeigh’s Oklahoma City bombing (an outright lie promoted by noted lecher Bill Clinton).

So an alleged gunman hated liberals. Guy wasn’t all crazy.

(Oh, and now the shooting is being treated as a ‘hate crime’. Liberals weren’t too bothered when some nut started shooting up Christians until they learned the Christians favoured gay marriage. Opening fire on innocent churchgoers: Yeah, whatever. Shooting at same-sex marriage advocates: Hate Crime! Hate Crime!)

Exclusive: God in Obama ’slur’

By Our Obamania Correspondent

A FIRESTORM ERUPTED last night after the saviour of humanity claimed he was “bigger than Obama.”

The shocking comments from Christianity CEO Jesus Christ came as the Democratic presidential candidate wound up his whistle-stop world tour in London.

Heaven-based Jesus, formerly of Nazareth, the Holy Land, made the remarks during a live interview with ITV daytime show Loose Women.

2008-year-old Jesus told host Coleen Nolan: “With nearly 2 billion followers worldwide, I’m shit-hot as gods go. But I just don’t get the credit anymore. I bust my ass so sinners can get into Heaven and what thanks do I get? They’re all drooling over this Barack Obama guy right now. Who the fuck is this guy? I’m bigger than Obama, for mysake!”

However, he immediately backtracked, adding: “I’ve got nothing against the bloke. Good luck to him. I just think everyone needs to regain perspective.”

But his outburst drew fury from members of the Church of Obama. One blasted: “How dare he make this kind of blasphemous remark. This will offend devout Obama believers everywhere.

“Of course, he wouldn’t dare have said it about another politician.”

Miracle-worker Jesus is no stranger to controversy. Two thousand years ago, he was found guilty of falsely impersonating the Son of God and was sentenced to crucifixion. However, he did not serve his full sentence, returning from the dead after just three days.

Although no conclusive evidence has come forward, Jesus still proclaims his innocence and his many supporters insist he was telling the truth.

But following this latest incident some groups are even calling for a boycott of Christianity, urging the public not to pray, attend church, or help their neighbours.

Senator Obama was unavailable for comment. “He is currently walking on water,” a spokesman said.

Rival spiritual leaders joined in the criticism, with Buddha characterising the remarks as “unenlightened.”

The Prophet Mohammed could not be drawn, for fear of riots.

ENDS

Who framed Rajah Rabbit?

Islamists say the funniest things. This new Gaza-based children’s TV show, produced by Obama-supporting terrorist group Hamas, features a Jew-killing bunny and invites kids to decide the appropriate Sharia punishment for the pilfering carrot-muncher. As reported in the Daily Telegraph:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/middleeast/palestinianauthority/2447895/Islamic-Bugs-Bunny-programme-spreads-extremism.html

More top-notch comedy from The Religion of Peace!

Ich bein ein Obamaniac

The last time this many Germans gathered to listen to a charismatic demagogue, I seem to recall it didn’t end well.

The Barack Broadcasting Corporation gushes on its website, now indistinguishable from a teenage girl’s crushy-mushy Facebook tribute to Barack Hussein Obama, that The Holy One addressed 200,000 adoring fans in Berlin’s Tiergarten Park yesterday. They were, sighed Obama’s BBC cheerleaders, ”scenes reminiscent of a pop concert.” And Obama is reminiscent of a pop star in that he spent much of the early Eighties doing cocaine (a typical white drug).

Today, Jesus Obama visited France on the latest leg of his Second Coming Tour (“A fist-bumping success!” Fully booked, Berlin to London! Tickets still available: America.) This was a shrewd move. Why fight to be elected President of the United States when you can just touchdown in France and wait for them to surrender? (Maybe some of Barack’s new-found German friends will help with this.)

And ahead of the fifth Beatle’s arrival in Britain on Saturday, liberalbaiter has obtained a sneak preview of his itinerary for the day.

 

Obama for America: The World Tour

 Saturday 26 July 2008 A.O. (Anno Obama)

London, England: Schedule

6.00am Get out of bed and help lift the sun up into the sky. Check the papers. Ensure coverage is four-fifths syrup, one-fifth gush.

7.00am A quick jog through Hyde Park. Cure sick, feed hungry, house homeless. Grab non-fat decaf latte.

8.10am Interview on BBC Radio Four’s Today programme. (N.B. Beware of interviewer James Naughtie; he might blindside with tough questions, such as: “Tell us again why you’re so brilliant.”)

8.30am On the GMTV sofa for a grilling from Kate Garraway. Topic: Highlights and the fortysomething man. Guest, Lorraine Kelly slot. Contestant on quiz: Guess the dildo.

9.00am Photo-op with local London religious groups. Campaign aide will keep the Muslims talking while pictures being taken.

10.00am Meet Prime Minister Tony Blair  David Cameron Gordon Brown. Congratulate him on his first year in office. (N.B. Do not mention Tony Blair, credit crunch, opinion polls.)

11.00am Meet Conservative leader David Cameron. Congratulate him on Gordon Brown’s first year in office. Promise to strengthen ties/save planet. Joint cycling photo-op optional.

12noon Skip lunch. Power walk across the Thames (awe-struck crowd already booked). Address Guardian employees. Topic: Hating America Together. Appear on Afternoon Live on Sky News. (N.B. Keep fist-jab at ready, Kay Burley can snap.)

1.00pm Photo-op with homeless man. Bum will ask Sen. Obama: “Spare change, buddy?” Obama will reply: “That’s right, my friend. We all need change we can believe in.”

2.00pm Cutting ribbon at new Lambeth Transpersons Against Gender-Based Epithets centre.

3.00pm Find Madeleine McCann, alive and well. Return to parents. Give live TV interviews on the importance of families. Off the record, imply to journalists Republican National Committee stole Madeleine because she supported universal healthcare.

4.00pm Visit Hackney Modern YouTube Academy. Knife-proof vest advised. 

5.00pm Meet Archbishop of Canterbury. Speak about influence of Christianity on your political outlook. If asked about gay ministers, to the best of your knowledge Rev. Jeremiah Wright is happily married. (Ahead of this meeting there will be a half-hour tutorial on Christianity: “Jesus: More than a Vote Winner in Kansas”.)

7.00pm Dinner with Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II in Buckingham Palace. Avoid the husband. Might ask you to shine his shoes.

 9.00pm Drinks reception with Tony Blair. (Will need to arrive early to turn water into wine.)

11.00pm Quickly appear on a slice of toast in Middlesex to confirm faithful’s belief in Obama. Few hours sleep, hop on plane, and back to important business of pretending to love America.