What a speech! Facing up to the liberal media, slamming Obama, oh, and winning the hearts of America. Yeah, that was a speech.
I’m sorry to say, but I think I’m gonna have to break up with Ann Coulter; there’s another woman in my life now.
When I first heard John McCain had selected Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin as his running mate, I was elated. Actually, that’s not true. When I first heard McCain had picked Governor Palin, I said: “Sarah Who? Governor of Where? Is moosehunting an actual thing?” Then I Googled her policy positions, at which point my emotions would best be characterised as: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pro-life, pro-gun, pro-drilling, anti-tax, corruption-busting. The only way she could be more appealing were if she was a former Miss Wasilla. Wait, she is? Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Finally, a reason for conservatives to support New York Times-worshipping liberal John McCain. Naturally, the mainstream media, taking their orders from the Democratic National Committee (a change from al-Qaeda’s Marketing Department), ripped into this brilliant, talented, hugely personable, God-fearing, liberal-scaring, populist Republican Athena. They attacked her record on corruption, they invented phony scandals, they called her a creationist — then they went after her 17 year old daughter. Her 17 year old daughter. B. Hussein Obama is friends with a Weatherman, has a white-hating preacher, and a wife who only started loving America when people starting comparing her husband to Jesus. But the fearless watchdog media would rather hound a pregnant girl, whose only crime is to be bringing human life into the world in contravention of the express instructions of liberals everywhere to kill anything that moves in the womb.
Bristol Palin is keeping her baby and marrying the father. That’s what real American families are like. They’re not perfect; not Leave it to Beaver. Conservatives never claimed they were. Conservatives believe in family values not as a smug sneer at people who don’t match up to our standards (like liberals on, well, everything imaginable) but as an aspiration.
That’s Sarah Palin’s family. That’s John McCain’s family. And that’s American families.
